chris. 22. graphic designer. artist. athlete. poet. ftm. pre-t.
Day 2- How did you choose your name? What names were you thinking about using and why?
I, like I assume many transmen do, have a long list of male names that i love. And when I knew i needed a male name to go by and start using because my birthname is incredibly feminine, I went through this list and had a few names that i really liked.
my girlfriend also helped a lot in the name choosing process. Me and my girlfriend settled on a few to try out, use in conversation, see if they fit and so forth. we did this for a few weeks, trying out a few names. Rhys, Blaine, Cale, and Chris were the ones we liked best. I want a son named Rhys so we eliminated that one right off the bat even though It’s my favorite boy name. Cale she didn’t like because it just didn’t suit me. We really liked Blaine but the more we used it the more it seemed too “gay boy” to both of us. not that there’s anything wrong with gay boys! I love them, but I’m not one. and idk why that name just screamed homosexual whenever we used it. So we fell on Christopher, Chris.
I had wanted to not use Chris because it’s very plain and my birthname isn’t as common. And Chris was always my androgynous go-to name when i was misgendered when i identified as a lesbian. But the more we used it the more it fit me and the more i loved it. I like that i can be Christopher or Chris, depending on the situation, who’s talking to me, how formal the situation is and whatnot. And then i decided on Nicholas for my middle name because my female middle name is Nicole and seeing as my new first name has the same initial as my birthname i decided to keep my initials all the same. plus Christopher Nicholas sounds so badass. I also liked the connection to my birthname, I don’t hate my female self, she’s just not me. I loved her and still love her, I just never knew there was something better, more fitting, more suited to my happiness and health until quite recently. So i didn’t want to shun that part of my identity. (also being an identical twin has a lot to do with my love of my female self i think).
*don’t get me mistaken, i have a lot of dysphoria, i do not identify as female in the least. but i do not see the point of self-hate. in another life maybe i could have been happy as the androgynous lesbian i used to identify as. but in this life, it’s not right for me. at my core i’m a man, and i need that to be realized and explored, and i just need to fully become that version of myself that i know is inside of me. my mind is already there, just got to get my body to catch up.*